We all have them! The people that we believe have done us wrong. For some of us the list is long and for some of us shorter, but the fact is that we can’t go through life unaffected by the wrongdoings of others. What these wrongdoings initially create is often a deep urge to create the perfect revenge. And the perfect revenge includes making these people feel just as bad as they once has made us feel… Some uses voodoo dolls, some uses “get even”, the list of how to create the perfect revenge is often very creative. But trust me, there’s a way better method to get that sweet revenge!!!
The perspective, that if we make someone feel as bad as they once made us feel, is human. It’s normal, logical and for most of us the perspective that dominates our mindset. Not even just our mindset, it’s kind of the normative way in society to handle hurt, anger, betrayal or whatever it is. By “getting even” we want to balance the wrongdoings. We don’t want to carry the hurt created by others by ourselves, and I totally get that. BUT what I’ve seen, and experienced in myself as well, is that this idea is just a waste of energy!
The whole idea about making someone feel as bad as they once made you feel includes the assumption that this person reacts to, whatever you decide is your “strategy for revenge”, in the way you anticipate. And sorry to say but that assumption is built on a lot of factors where you can be terribly wrong! If you spend your time figuring out a way to get even, STOP!
It’s a destructive path that doesn’t benefit you at all! It includes victimizing yourself and makes you into a small person and not the best version of yourself! There’s a much better way to get that revenge! It’s a bit more challenging but trust me – the effect is massive:
- Make a list of all the people you feel has done you wrong.
- Acknowledge all the pain they’ve caused you and how much time you’ve spent dwelling this.
- Make a decision that today is the day you want to free yourself from all that negativity and stop giving your wellbeing and power away to those people.
Now, lets create a new perspective!
- Since challenges are what makes us learn new things (an unquestionable universal law), consider the people as challenges. What where the challenges they provided?
- And what did you learn? What you learned is the only thing that is relevant, all the dwelling isn’t!
- What has been the outcome of those learning’s?
The more we stop dwelling the past and instead accept it for what it is and acknowledge the learning’s that has come out of it, the more we grow! And there’s no better revenge then using all the wrongdoings by others to grow yourself into the best version you can possibly be!
For me, this perspective, has changed my mindset in so many ways. Obviously it has changed the way I deal with the past but also how I deal with the present. We’re faced with challenges on a daily basis but today instead of getting completely overwhelmed with frustration I take a deep breath and ask myself what I can learn from this situation. And by learning new things about myself, more or less on a daily basis, I ensure that all the challenges I face helps me! And that the people who challenges me actually only make me into a better person which I’m sure isn’t their purpose!!!