We all have them! Those voices in our head that goes on like a popcorn machine on steroids! Sometimes they’re so loud and so intense that it feels like the mind is going to explode… And a weird thing about them is that they hardly ever communicate the same message. While one is shouting “you can” the other one is shouting “you can’t”… One thing is for sure! Your life will definitely be a consequence of which of these voices you chose to listen to but choosing which one is often the tricky part! So how can we ensure that our life will be the consequence of the one voice that maybe not shouts the loudest but the wisest?
It takes practice! A hell of a lot to be honest! I guess a lot of people would tell you to control your mind but I won’t. Tried that and it definitely didn’t work for me or anyone I’ve coached. For a lot of people controlling our mind is counterproductive since we need our brains to function in an unpredictable way that enables us to think outside the box. So if controlling our minds isn’t the answer, what is?
Name the voices! Draw pictures of them! Give them a identity! Maybe you’re thinking that I must be a complete moron right now but before you judge my mental state, TRY IT! I have three voices that I’ve identified. And why those three is because they’re the most dominant ones and a lot of other voices is just an extension of these three.
So, I have Susanne who is named after one of the girls that bullied me in school. All she contributes with in my life is putting me down, telling me I’m not good enough, not competent enough etc. If she could choose I wouldn’t be doing much but sitting in my house staring at the wall, feeling miserable with who I am. But she can be loud as f–k! When I started my adult journey in life, she often was the loudest and my way of shutting her down back in the days was with a vast consumption of drugs and alcohol.
Then we have Anna who’s named after my grandmother. She is the definition of common sense, high ethic and morale. Oh yes, I do have a morale it just doesn’t look like everyone else’s… Back to Anna. She values safety, hard work, responsibility and hates laziness. She has a bit of a problem with me writing this blog since she thinks I could be at the office doing stuff that generates a steady income. When she was the loudest voice I worked like a maniac and shut all my emotions aside. But got a hell of a lot done!
And then there’s Little My who’s named after a character in a children’s book (Moomin) by a fantastic author, Tove Jansson. She is brave, fearless and completely direct. She rarely listen to others opinion, and even if she does she will make decision based on her own will regardless. She’s prepared for every situation because she knows she can handle whatever comes her way. When she’s the loudest voice I don’t question whether things will work or not, I just go! Feeling fully comfortable that everything will work out in the end and that I’m capable of dealing with whatever comes up. She has always been there, lifting me up ensuring that I’ll get through it somehow. Reminding me of my own qualities and that the only thing to be truly afraid of is a life not lived.
But as you can imagine those three doesn’t necessarily say the same thing… And before I identified the voices in my head by giving them an identity there was anarchy and I didn’t know which one to listen to but today I do. Whenever Susanne pops up I dismiss her. She doesn’t want anything good for me so why should I pay her any attention! I don’t try to control her from ever popping up but I don’t make any decisions based on her appearance. Anna and Little My complement each other! Sometimes Little My does need to take control over her impulses and be reasonable and Anna needs to be pushed out of the comfort zone.
Let your life be the consequence of the voices that helps you be the best version of yourself and stop listening to the voices that don’t!